Building a Non-Anxious Life
"Building a Non-Anxious Life" is a comprehensive guide to understanding and overcoming anxiety in various aspects of life. Written by an experienced therapist, the book delves deep into the roots of anxiety, offering practical strategies and insights for fostering a calmer, more centered existence.
Video Explanations:
A 14 minute explanation of Building a Non-Anxious Life.
An explanation of Building a Non-Anxious Life broken into 16 bite size “chapters”.
Book Summary:
In "Building a Non-Anxious Life," John Delony begins by exploring the root causes of anxiety, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying triggers and patterns that contribute to feelings of worry and stress. He explains how factors such as past experiences, thought patterns, and environmental stressors can exacerbate anxiety, and encourages readers to develop self-awareness as the first step towards transformation.
Delony introduces the concept of a "non-anxious life" as a state characterized by inner peace, emotional stability, and the ability to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace. He emphasizes that achieving this state requires intentional effort and a commitment to personal growth and self-care.
Throughout the book, Delony outlines a series of action items and practical strategies designed to help readers build a non-anxious life. These action items include:
Mindfulness and Meditation: Delony encourages readers to practice mindfulness and meditation as powerful tools for cultivating awareness of the present moment and reducing anxiety. He provides step-by-step instructions and guided exercises to help readers incorporate these practices into their daily lives.
Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Delony emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and sufficient sleep. He provides practical tips for incorporating these habits into busy schedules and offers advice for overcoming common obstacles.
Stress Management Techniques: Delony introduces a variety of stress management techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization exercises. He explains how these techniques can help reduce anxiety levels and promote a sense of calm and relaxation.
Setting Boundaries: Delony emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and commitments to avoid overextension and burnout. He provides guidance on how to identify and communicate personal boundaries effectively.
Effective Communication Skills: Delony explores the role of effective communication in reducing anxiety and fostering healthy relationships. He provides practical tips for improving communication skills, including active listening, assertiveness, and conflict resolution.
Time Management: Delony offers strategies for effective time management, including prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and avoiding procrastination. He emphasizes the importance of creating a sense of control over one's schedule to reduce feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.
Self-Compassion and Self-Care: Delony encourages readers to cultivate self-compassion by treating themselves with kindness and understanding. He emphasizes the importance of self-care activities that promote relaxation and rejuvenation.
Seeking Support: Delony highlights the importance of seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals when dealing with anxiety. He provides guidance on how to reach out for help and build a support network.
Cognitive Restructuring: Delony explores the role of cognitive restructuring in reducing anxiety by challenging and reframing negative thought patterns. He provides practical techniques for identifying and replacing irrational beliefs with more realistic and positive perspectives.
Gratitude Practice: Delony discusses the power of gratitude in promoting resilience and reducing anxiety. He provides exercises and prompts to help readers cultivate a daily gratitude practice.
Engaging in Hobbies and Interests: Delony encourages readers to dedicate time to activities that bring joy and fulfillment, providing a healthy outlet for stress and anxiety.
Continual Learning: Delony emphasizes the importance of personal growth and development through lifelong learning and exploration. He encourages readers to pursue interests and acquire new skills as a means of fostering resilience and adaptability.
Throughout "Building a Non-Anxious Life," Delony provides relatable anecdotes, practical examples, and actionable advice to guide readers on their journey towards greater emotional well-being. By incorporating these strategies into their daily lives, readers can cultivate a sense of inner peace and resilience, even in the face of life's inevitable challenges.
Book Quotes:
“Anxiety isn’t the problem. Anxiety is just the alarm system letting people know things are off the rails. People have created very anxious lives, and their bodies are trying to get their attention.”
“What we’re doing is not working. What will work is exploring the choices each of us can make, day by day, to create a more peaceful, joyful, and non-anxious life.”
“The longer I sit with hurting people and study the ins and outs of anxiety, the more I’m convinced that they’re few, if any, crazy people. I believe people are just trying to find ways to hurt less, be heard and seen, find safety, connect with others, and survive.”
“I would not have written this book if I did not believe there is hope. For you, for me, for our kids, for the people we love, and for our world.”
“Anxiety is not the problem. The problem is that we are unsafe, disconnected, unhealthy, and living like we have no say in what happens next.”
“The anxiety alarms generally begin sounding for one or more of the following four reasons:
Your body senses you are alone and disconnected from your friends, family, community, or tribe. You are lonely and on your own.
Your body senses you are unsafe, or a place, a person, or a group of people is unsafe.
Your body recognizes it is unhealthy, overstimulated, sleep-deprived, or struggling with relational and physical boundaries, trauma, illness, drug-use, hormone dysregulation, or other health or healing concerns.”
Your body understands you don’t have autonomy in your life (due to a relationship or your environment, for example). Someone or something else is making decisions about how you will live your life.”
“Peace isn’t just something that happens. Peace is a paradox in that we have to both go get it and accept it. We must take courageous, decisive action and we must open our hands and receive it. Peace is both disciplined hard work and a gift. Peace is a choice.”
“The Six Daily Choices are:
Choose Reality
Choose Connection
Choose Freedom
Choose Mindfulness
Choose Health & Healing
Choose Belief”
“The first step to a non-anxious life is honesty. Honesty with yourself and others. You must Choose Reality.”
“Other people are your emergency fund for life.”
“If you don’t have love, if you don’t have friendship and connection and community, your anxiety alarms will ring off the wall.”
“Becoming aware is about recognizing your impulses and pausing to consider your next move. It’s about being thoughtful, patient, and intentional about what you choose to say, think, or do next. This is the practice of stretching the gap between stimulus and response.”
“I’m saying that to truly create a non-anxious life, you have to believe in a transcendent, everlasting source. Something bigger than you.”